October 1st, 2006 The new chaos car club website is up! everyone go check it out. It is under the designs/websites tab. October 5th, 2006 Well its been a while since I've had an update with more than a link haha. Oh well. I just realized the band Youinseries sounds a lot like Brown Eyed Deception, then I realized it WAS that band. Man, I have been out of the scene/band loop for too long. I even saw them in concert and didn't realize it was them. Anyway, happy birthday Ryan Layman. You are now 21, but don't worry I'm right behind you. Not really, my birthday isn't until March haha. Well fall break is almost here for me, I get thursday and friday off next week, I can't wait. This weekend I might end up going to the LHS homecoming game and freaky friday at the track down in fayetville so that will be cool, especially if my car rebuild is done by then. I've been really busy with school and that is probably why I don't post as much on here as I used to, or as I'd like. But school has to come first. I'm playing bass this weekend at H20, I played bass two weeks ago too. It's actually kinda fun instead of playing acoustic but anyway. I have to get to CUW now. Bye! October 9th, 2006 "You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. It's exhausting. And, well, it's complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks." Great quote. Thanks Sara! October 11th, 2006 Fall break is tomorrow, I can't wait. I haven't had the best week and I even lost my wallet. AH! October 16th, 2006 Things have been going alright recently. My roomate and I rearranged our dorm so we have more space, so that's cool. Fall break was ok, but it could have been so much better. I still don't have my car back. Allthough it's not really the shop's (RPM) fault. They sent my bin file to HP Tuners to have them edit my max MAF and they still haven't sent anything back. Oh well. Patience stinks sometimes. Me and my friend Thomas whom I go to school with are going to try and start a campbell universtiy praise and woship type band. It won't have anything really to do with campbell other than the fact that everyone in the band will attend here. We could play at churchs and even here at CUW or CRU or similar type places. I think it would be fun. I have h20 retreat this weekend. I'm excited. I failed two tests today. One of them I know for a fact I got like a 68, the other.. probably worse. I have been trying to keep up with adding notes on Sundays from h20 and service, but Im getting kinda bad at it lately. I keep forgetting to bring the notes here to school with me. Anyways, I'm tired of writing already. October 18th, 2006 "I do remember, and then when I try to remember, I forget." Good quote. October 30th, 2006 Well I've got a lot of updating to do. And its kind of ironic. I have so much that has happened, but i can't find the time to write it, because I've been so busy. I went to the track today though and ran a 13.8 @ 97. Not as good as I'd hoped but it was alright. I still have to write all about the retreat and everything I learned. A lot has been going on lately outside of all of that and I hope everything turns out alright. God has a bigger plan underneath everything that I think is important. I just need to trust Him that everything will be ok. It is well. November 8th, 2006 I Peter 1:3-5 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade?kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. So yea, basically I am still swamped with schoolwork and haven't had much time to write here. There is a lot I want to say and everything. I never expected to be this busy here at school, and I never expected to like it this much. I never expected to make as many friends as I did. I never expected to find so many people with similar life interests and goals as I do that also have a great passion for the glory of God. I am also trying to arrange a praise and worship band with a friend of mine named Thomas. He's a cool guy. I barely even have time at my house to see my parents, or girlfriend, or even to work. Oh well. I love that verse that I just put up. Also, here is something I have learned: The further we run from God, the further we run from ourselves. We find ourselves, when we are close to God. November 21st, 2006 "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." - C. S. Lewis November 26th, 2006 I'm sick of being fake. I'm sick of people not knowing the real me. I dont like not being able to be 110% honest with everyone. I wish I could change my past. I wish I could direct my future. I want everyone to understand how I truely feel about everything and everyrone. I wish I could start over. I wish I could take the time out of each day to sit down and talk to everyone in my life and set everyone straight and start living a real life. I want things to be normal. No, I don't want things to be normal. I just want things to be the way they should. How are we supposed to know what is right and what is wrong? How can anyone ever be 110% honest with anyone. Is it possible? To tell somebody everything, every little detail.. big or small, important or not. Sometimes those things upset people, or upset yourself when you hear them coming from your mouth. Sometimes I wish I could go back a few years and change just the little things that now seem to matter so much today in who I am and who I have become. I want people to see me for who I am. I don't like to misunderstood. I don't care if I'm liked. I don't care if I am popular. I just want to be known for who I truely am. All of these sentences starting with what I want are just making me feel selfish. It is time to stop. November 27th, 2006 "Boston" by Augustana In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun... Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed, This world you must've crossed... you said... You don't know me, you don't even care, She said You don't know me, you don't wear my chains... Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across an open field, When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry when they see you You said... You don't know me, you don't even care, she said You don't know me, you don't wear my chains... She said I think I'll go to Boston... I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name, I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain... I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind... I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset, I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... Boston... where no one knows my name...